PUNISH ME (Some insight into punishment in BDSM)
For those who've read Game
Misconduct, it should come as no surprise that Oriana's younger sister, Silver
Delgado, ends up needing to be punished several times during her own book.
She's a naughty naughty girl! <g>
But the question might be: 'Is it
punishment, or funishment?'. The term funishment has been going around a lot
lately and I can understand the appeal. If you enjoy being spanked, what's more
fun than being bent over and swatted while being told what a bad boy/girl you
are?
The thing is, funishment has its place, and
it's up to the 'Dominant' or 'Top' to decide (along with some input from their
'sub' or 'bottom') whether funishment is appropriate either in the scene or in
the relationship. I'm not quite sure where I stand with funishment, to be honest,
because I'd rather just enjoy my spanking without pretending it's something
else! Lol!
For actual punishment, I feel very
strongly that those with submissive needs can benefit from guidelines and
consequences when they test their limits or trample right over them. The
easiest way to explain this is by comparing it to jealousy. Which might sound
weird, but hear me out. Some people see jealousy as a sign that their partner
cares. That the relationship is a real commitment. Without signs of jealousy, they
will feel less valued, as if they aren't worth the emotion. They may act out in
an effort to find a way to get the reaction they need.
Submissives—not all mind you, but
some—need to feel Dominance in a very real way. Whether it's during a scene or
in day to day life, surrendering is something they crave. And they can't
pretend to surrender. They don't want to fake giving up control.
The same goes for some Dominants. To
them, there is something lacking in a scene if their partner only plays at
submission. So a balance is found to satisfy both.
Some may feel a 'good sub' won't test
their Dom, but there is no one size fits all whether it be in a BDSM
relationship or in any other kind. The power struggle can be stimulating. A Dom
will test his subs limits to see how far she can go. A sub will do the same.
I've heard of maintenance spankings,
of creative punishments that may not involve any impact at all. Orgasm torture,
kneeling for long periods of time—I even heard one story about a mouthy sub
being forced to hold a live goldfish in her mouth! The subs will tell you that
they didn't enjoy being punished, so you may ask why they let it happen.
The simplest answer? Because it was
something they needed at the time.
What kinds of transgressions earn
that kind of disciplining? Well, it could be anything really. Rules are often
agreed upon between the couple, but sometimes it can be as simple as 'You
should know better'. Swearing at your Dom, for example, is an obvious one. And
something you might not be able to help in any given situation. You may have
'off time' when you can call your Dom every name in the book, but I would be
careful. He might recall those nasty insults the next time you're helplessly
bound and kneeling at his feet.
And this goes back to those limits. I
would have a hard time respecting a Dom, or giving into a Dom, that let me get
away with being a complete brat. Not to say I wouldn't be a brat, but if I'm
not one very sorry brat at the end of it all, I'll feel like something's
missing. But the most important thing, to my mind, is knowing, once the
punishment is served, that all is forgiven. Feeling that, even though I broke
the rules, my man loves me anyway.
In the punishment scenes in Defensive
Zone I felt it important that Silver be given that forgiveness. She might fight
every step of the way, but her surrender, her efforts to improve herself, are
worth something.
Excerpt:
"Bad
girl." His eyes narrowed as he caught her chin and held it in a firm
grasp. "I've slacked in training you. That. Ends. Now. I'm trying to be
patient, pet, but stop testing me."
There.
His heart warmed as she lowered her eyes, showing the first sign of submission
in a long time. Too long. He finally had her exactly where they both needed her
to be.
Caressing
her cheek with his fingertips, he moved away to open his bag and take out
several 'toys'. Some she would recognize. Others she wouldn't. He spread them
out on the table, then took a seat to let her take them in.
"We
are going to try something—something I don't do with most of the subs I've had
because they know what they like and it ruins the effect of the
punishment." He reached out to play with her hair, loving the way she
struggled not to lean into him as he did. Most women enjoyed having their hair
petted and stroked. Silver was no exception. "I've noticed something about
you. Much as you talk back and protest, once you understand the reason behind a
punishment, you accept it. Your body still responds, but you're truly sorry
after. And not just because you're sore."
She
glanced over her shoulder, eyes glistening. She was already sorry.
For
a moment, he wanted to toss the punishment and just tell her all was forgiven.
But that would teach her nothing and she had to understand that forgiveness
came with accepting the punishment. She's been denied that with Bower and he
wondered if it wasn't a trigger. Delgado didn't seem the type to let an infraction
go after doling out punishments. And if he was right, she needed to see Dean
was always consistent with his discipline and his love.
"This
is what you're going to do." He sat forward and held out his hand to the
table. "You will either choose one of the implements I've provided, or, if
you'd like, I will use my hand. Show me your choice. You will not speak. And
once the punishment starts, you will not be able to. I mentioned the gag?"
Her
tongue flicked over her top lip and she looked at the bit gag that lay at the
far end of the table.
"Yes.
That's it. It should fit comfortably and prevent noises loud enough to bring
the police. I got the leather straps in pink just for you."
She
barely managed not to give him another dirty look.
"Quick
save, sweetheart. Now make your choice."
It
took her longer than he'd expected to choose. She fingered the tawse, flicked
the strands of the flogger, and avoided the riding crop and his walking stick
as though they were living things with sharp teeth. The paddle drew her
attention for quite a bit. She traced the words embedded in the wood. Brat.
Shifted
on her knees to face him, she wrapped her fingers around his wrist, brought his
hand up to her mouth, and kissed his knuckles.
"My
hand?" He held back a grin at her nod. For some reason her decision
pleased him very much. He reached over and picked up the bit gag. "Open
wide, my love."
The
soft silicone fit nicely in her mouth. Her nose wrinkled as she got used to the
sensation. The pale pink, leather straps looked lovely against her pale cheeks.
He did up the buckle, then slid back a little and patted his thigh. She rose
gracefully, her expression . . . peaceful. As she laid herself over his lap, he
stroked her back, reminding her that, even though this would hurt, he still
cared about her. Deeply.
"Brace
yourself, love."
* * * *
If
you haven't read the first Dartmouth Cobras book,
Game Misconduct, it is on
sale until May 31st for $0.99
Buy Game Misconduct
For more of the Dartmouth Cobras,
visit their website: www.TheDartmouthCobras.com
Author's website: www.ImNoAngel.com
Twitter: @BSommerland
Facebook: I'm No Angel
Bianca is giving away an ebook copy of Defensive Zone to one lucky commenter on this tour stop!
There is also a grand prize pack, which includes things like the Puck Bunny teddy bear and a t-shirt, for one lucky commenter over all the tour stops.
There is also a grand prize pack, which includes things like the Puck Bunny teddy bear and a t-shirt, for one lucky commenter over all the tour stops.
Tour Schedule
May 23 - Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews
May 24 - Kinky Book Reviews
May 25 - Under the Covers Book Blog
May 28 - The Smutty Kitty
May 29 - The Forbidden Bookshelf
May 31 - Sizzling Hot Books
To enter:
1. Be a follower
2. Leave a comment on this post. Be sure to leave your email address so we can contact you if you win.
May 23 - Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews
May 24 - Kinky Book Reviews
May 25 - Under the Covers Book Blog
May 28 - The Smutty Kitty
May 29 - The Forbidden Bookshelf
May 31 - Sizzling Hot Books
To enter:
1. Be a follower
2. Leave a comment on this post. Be sure to leave your email address so we can contact you if you win.
30 comments:
I'm not into BDSM. Really not into pain, or bruises. I bruise very easily.
But the books sound interesting.
Thanks for the chance to win.
lisa(at)vetteklisa(dot)com
Wowzer!
totally getting the first book in he series ( .99 cents.... score)!
Would love the chance to win
tenasocal(at)Aol(dot)com
Thanks!!
Thanks for the chance to win, looks great :)
LorettaLynn
elliott2668(at)yahoo(dot)com
Great post. Thanks for sharing such a hot excerpt. Gabrielle meingee@yahoo.com
Wow, thanks for the post and excerpt. There is so much more to BDSM, thanks for giving us some insight. I'm intrigued, can't wait to read these!
lfacchini(at)tampabay(dot)rr(dot)com
I've been waiting for Silver's book since reading Oriana's book. This book sounds amazing. Can't wait to read it to see Silver get the punishment she deserves.
e.balinski(at)att(dot)net
I can't wait to read Defensive Zone!
Spank me!
luvfuzzzeeefaces at yahoo dot com
Thanks for a great post and giveaway! Got the first book! can't wait to start reading :)
efender1(at)gmail(dot)com
gfc: erin
I love the Dartmouth Cobras! I have already read the Game Misconduct and have Defensive Zone. Just waiting to start summer break and have the time to commit to this amazing author.
Mel
bournmelissa at hotmail dot com
I love the idea of BDSM but I'm not sure I could actually do it in real life. I do however like the sound of both books in this series so far. Thanks for the post....very educational.
Great blog Bianca and spot on! i adored that you showed actual punishment and the reaction of a clean slate after. i think it's true for BDSM and non-BDSM relationships! Whatever the argument, you need to know your partner still loves you after and that all is forgiven! you don't read such realism in many stories anymore :)
And, i have to agree with your opinion of 'punishment' I haven't heard the term before, but it works and is something that isn't for me and I have to admit I don't understand it well! LOL I'd rather enjoy a spanking for good reasons ;)
Stacey
Love the post! and the Excerpt I am sitting her fanning myself =)
My husband is a very vanilla man so I live vicariously through my books ;)
sionedkla@gmail.com
Bianca, I got the time wrong, I am Central Standard. It's 8pm now. I had a few questions for the players. How is marriage treating Oriana, Sloan, Dominick and Max? Are Chicklet and Tyler still together and has she met his mother? Silver's new friend, what position dooes he play, is he taking TJ's place?
Would love to win this book, recently had a friend introduce me to hockey ~ GO RANGERS!!, would love to see how this turns out.
rainie(at)gmail(dot)com
Well, that was nicely put. thanks for the explination!
practimom@yahoo.com
Great post...love the sound of this series!
taccb_1981@yahoo.com
I have not read Bianca's books yet but DAMN!!! Does that books sound HOT!!!! Would love a chance to win and the teddy bear is awesome! I'm a sucker for stuffed animals.
GFC Follower - Book Monster
bookmonsterreviews @ yahoo DOT com
Thanks for the contest!!
I have the first book and will be reading it this weekend. It would be great to win the second book.
GFC Followe: LisaG
Lisaguertin at yahoo. com
LOVED the excerpt! I have the first book and would love to add this one to it!! Thx for the lesson and the AWESOME giveaway op! ;)
barbbattaglia @ yahoo.com
i'm really curious bout this series.. hope i'll win this one
smile_1773@yahoo.com
I hadn't heard of this series, but it's on my list now!
modularmates(at)comcast(dot)net
oooh i found a new book i want to read! it looks really good.
mhay@panhandle.rr.com
I have followed this book around at to a couple of other sites. I would love to give it a try. I have started reading a lot of sports themed books. jepebATverizonDOTnet
I'm a little over halfway done the first when I'm supposed to be cleaning. Book comes first! :D
paintedkitteh at gmail dotcom
Wow sounds like a smoking hot read...got my copy of Game Misconduct!!! Super excited:)
Gfc Andrea Wardlow
andieleah78@gmail.com
I can't wait to read this new book. It looks like it will be another great one.
Thanks so much for the chance to win a copy.
manning_j2004 at yahoo dot com
I really want to read this book. I love Bianca's books
jlhmass @ yahoo . com
thank you for the great review and giveaway. Gale pgan427@yahoo.com
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